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5 Islamic Principles for a Strong and Happy Marriage.
In the journey of life, marriage is one of the most significant and beautiful milestones. Yet, many couples find that the initial bliss can fade, replaced by misunderstandings, arguments, and a growing emotional distance. If you feel that your marriage is facing challenges, know that every relationship goes through tests.
Islam, as a complete way of life, provides a beautiful and comprehensive roadmap for navigating the complexities of married life. It offers timeless principles that can not only save a struggling relationship but transform it into a source of immense peace, love, and spiritual growth.
The True Purpose of Marriage in Islam: Finding Sakinah
Before diving into the practical steps, it is essential to understand the true purpose of marriage in Islam. It is not merely a social contract; it is a sacred bond, an act of worship, and described as “half of one’s faith.”
Allah (SWT) reveals the core objective of marriage in the Quran:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility (sakinah) in them; and He placed between you affection (mawaddah) and mercy (rahmah). Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
The ultimate goal of marriage is to find Sakinah (peace, tranquility, and comfort) with your spouse, nurtured by the two pillars of Mawaddah (passionate love) and Rahmah (deep-seated mercy).
Here are five golden principles derived from the Quran and Sunnah to help you build a marriage filled with these divine qualities.
1. Nurture Both Mawaddah (Love) & Rahmah (Mercy)
While Mawaddah is the intense, romantic love often felt at the beginning of a marriage, Rahmah is the profound mercy, compassion, and tenderness that sustains the relationship through challenges.
Love can sometimes fluctuate, but mercy is what holds a marriage together during difficult times. It is the ability to forgive your spouse’s shortcomings, to be kind to them when they are weak, and to overlook their faults out of compassion. When passion wanes, it is mercy that saves the relationship.
2. Practice Husn-e-Sulook (Excellent Treatment)
The standard for how a husband and wife should treat each other is set by the best of all creation, our Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ). He was the perfect example of a loving and caring husband. He (ﷺ) said:
“The best of you is the one who is best to his wife (family), and I am the best of you to my wife.” (Jami` at-Tirmidhi)
Excellent treatment isn’t about grand gestures; it’s about the small, consistent acts of kindness:
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A simple smile
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Saying “Thank you” and “JazakAllah Khair”
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Offering a helping hand without being asked
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Giving a sincere compliment
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Speaking to each other with a gentle and respectful tone
These small acts build a foundation of love and mutual respect.
3. Embrace Sabr (Patience) & Forgiveness
No human being is perfect. Your spouse will make mistakes, and so will you. A successful marriage is not one where there are no problems, but one where the couple has learned to practice patience and forgiveness. Allah advises husbands in the Quran:
“…And live with them in kindness. For if you dislike them – perhaps you dislike a thing and Allah makes therein much good.” (Quran 4:19)
This verse teaches a powerful lesson: focus on the good in your spouse rather than dwelling on their flaws. Do not hold grudges. Learn to forgive each other for the sake of Allah, and you will find that Allah places immense blessing in your relationship.
4. Cultivate Shukr (Gratitude) & Appreciation
It is easy to thank strangers, but we often forget to appreciate the person who does the most for us every single day—our spouse. A lack of appreciation is one of the quickest ways to create emotional distance.
The Prophet (ﷺ) warned against ingratitude within a marriage. While he specifically addressed women who were ungrateful to their husbands, the principle applies to both spouses. Acknowledging each other’s efforts, no matter how small, is crucial. Say “thank you” for the meal, for the hard day’s work, for their patience, and for their presence in your life. A grateful heart is a magnet for a happy relationship.
5. Be a Team for the Akhirah (Hereafter)
The strongest and most blessed marriages are those where the husband and wife are not just partners for this world, but are actively helping each other to get to Jannah. This shared spiritual goal creates an unbreakable bond.
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Wake each other up for Fajr.
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Recite Quran together.
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Give Sadaqah (charity) on behalf of each other.
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Gently remind each other of Allah.
When you help each other for the sake of Allah, Allah Himself helps your relationship and fills it with Barakah (blessings).
Conclusion: Marriage is a Journey, Not a Destination
A successful marriage is not a matter of luck; it is a result of continuous effort, patience, forgiveness, and a deep-seated desire to please Allah. When you view your spouse as a trust (amanah) from Allah and treat them with the kindness and respect they deserve, Allah Himself places love and tranquility in your hearts.
May Allah bless all marriages and make our homes a source of peace and a stepping stone to Jannah. Ameen.
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